stolen gem

*credit due to Duarte

This night is winding down…but time means nothing.

I crossed over to the darkside yesterday and *gulp* bought and iPod. Years and years I have avoided doing so, but seeing how my life is currently creating a soundtrack for itself I thought it might be nice to have an actual score to go along with it. I am going to attempt to add a list through HypeM.com on the side of my blog to keep you up to date on some good finds.

Speaking of Apple – great article uncovering their underbelly of deception.

How Apple Got Everything Right By Doing Everything Wrong

http://www.wired.com/techbiz/it/magazine/16-04/bz_apple?currentPage=all

shock me like an electric eel

Just stumbled upon this (http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23367629-5006007,00.html) article today which reminded me of a similar article I had written last year based on this (http://www.macleans.ca/homepage/magazine/article.jsp?content=20070409_104111_104111) article. The writing was a bit rushed for it (class daily deadline) but you’ll get the idea. Enjoy.
_____________________________________________

Who is healthy and what is sexy has recently become a renewed debate raging everywhere from message boards to movie sets to modeling agencies. With the introduction of the waif-look by Twiggy in the seventies, its resurgence in the nineties by Kate Moss, and now by celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe – many fear the pressure to be super-thin is out of control.

The female obsession with weight, shape and dieting has become so common that it is now considered a normal female behaviour. Many outside influences such as family, peers, schools, athletics, health care professionals, and most strongly, the mass media, have begun to reinforce this perfectionist ideal.

One of the most controversial and commonly discussed culprits according to celebrity bloggers is celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe. Perez Hilton, online blogger known as the “Queen of all Media,” claims that Zoe provides her long list of celebrity cliental – which includes Micha Barton, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Richie- with substances from crystal meth, prescription ADHD drug Adderall XR, and most commonly clenbuterol (a breathing medication for horses.)
Clenbuterol specifically melts fat in the body. It acts as a stimulant to the heart and nervous system, raising a person’s metabolism therefore burning more calories. This very dangerous drug has some very nasty side effect as well, which include sudden ballooning weight gain in some cases where the body is trying to combat the sudden fat storage losses. The Los Angeles Times has even gone as far as accusing Zoe of single handedly bringing anorexia back o the mainstream.

Recently, Zoe has been publicly fired by her “lollipop stars” Nicole Richie and Lindsey Lohan, both of whom have gained weight since becoming independent. Richie even went as far as to overtly accuse Zoe in a blog that was published on her myspace site.

Women are exposed to more media images today then any other time in history. Not only are the images presented though mass media negative and objectifying women, but the female ideal weight also seems to be progressively decreasing. Models were first “slimmed down” in 1947, weighing in at an average of 125 lb. In 1970, an average model was 5 ft 8 in. and weighed a mere 118 pounds. This figure has continued to decrease with time, as the standard is getting progressively
taller and thinner.

Young girls now see celebrities getting thinner as they become more famous, which sends a message that it is unnatural to be naturally sized. On average, movie stars have 10% body fat, while normal women have 25%.

Young models who suffer from eating disorders is an ancient topic. What is new however, is the alarming number of young models suffering and yet they continue to work. The root of the problem stems from the fact that most models do not believe they are suffering from a disorder. They believe that by subjecting themselves to intense self-regulation is a part of the job in order to maintain their “body capital” and they do so without acknowledging the consequences. Twenty years ago, models’ body weight was 8 percent below the average and now, it is 23 per cent below the average. Having to compete with younger, thinner models and not deviating from the ideal dimensions (34-24-34) can cause much strain and stress on the models – and quite frequently, they are tempted to resort to external measures to maintain their figures.

cult of the dead fish

Stumbled upon this video today. Very curious indeed. Here is a youtube type snippet of it. The rest of the film can be found at http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/ . I’m planning on watching it all later this afternoon and posting my comments soon afterwards.

horendous.

Dad guilty of putting baby in microwave

Wednesday Mar 26 11:17

AP – A young father has been convicted of badly injuring his infant daughter by putting her in a microwave in a Texas hotel room, with jurors rejecting his claim he was insane at the time.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=267970

What is this world coming to? First I read a story today about a circus in Italy which tortured two sisters. One, who was 16, was thrown into a tank full of flesh eating Piranhas for viewers enjoyment, while the other sister who was 19 was placed in a tank and had snakes thrown at her! Next I read a story about a father in the states which beat his 17 month old daughter to death after she accidentally caused his Xbox to fall and break. Now this story?

Personally I have always been a proponent of abolishing the death penalty, however these last few stories have provided an opportunity for reflection. The result? I still agree we are no worse then them if we take a life ourselves; its not our place to do so no matter how brutal the crime.

What should be reinstated is medieval forms of torture. Screw putting these rapists, pedophiles, serial killers and other psychotic criminals behind bars to live a life to solitude; reading books, getting an education, watching television even! The state of certain prisons are far to leisurely and accommodating for what these people deserve. I know, this is pretty harsh, but how can you feel otherwise after hearing about a man putting his baby daughter in a microwave! Here are a few “suggestions”…

Judas Cradle – The Judas Cradle is a very painful torture. The victim was seated on a triangular-shaped seat where he or she was slowly impaled.
Coffin Torture – The coffin torture – a very cruel medieval device where the victim was locked for hours or longer.
The Brazen Bull – The brazen bull was a terrible torture device used in ancient Greece and throughout the Middle Ages.
The Rack Torture – The rack is commonly referred as the most painful medieval torture of them all.
The Water Torture – There were many ways to punish a victim with the use of water. This article explains the most common forms of such torture.
Exposure – A terrible torture that was often deadly. The exposure was a method used all around medieval Europe. The sentence depended on the crime.
The Chair of Torture – A striking instrument, the Chair was widely used throughout medieval Europe and beyond. It’s origins are not clear, but the truth remains: This is one of the most painful and psychologically striking tortures ever devised by the human mind.
The Pear of Anguish – A very painful torture applied almost exclusively on witches, liars, blasphemers and homosexuals.
The Rat Torture – Rats were used for torture. They were free, available and painful if known how to use.
The Breast Ripper – A very cruel form of torture was the Breast Ripper. A variant, The Spider, was similarly painful and frequently fatal.
The Head Crusher – The head crusher was a psychologically striking instrument that was mainly used to extract confessions.
Saw Torture – The Saw was a humiliating and painful torture available everywhere.
The Virgin of Nuremberg (The Maiden) – The Maiden, also known as the Virgin of Nuremberg, was a torture device that consisted of a coffin with the face of a maiden full of spikes on every wall.
The Spanish Tickler – A terrible torture used to tear a victim’s flesh apart. It was commonly used in Spain.
Garrotte Torture – The Garrotte was mostly used for executions and was very frequently used in Spain, hence its name.
Flagellation (Whipping) – Describes the act of flagellation or whipping. Its use was very common in Ancient Rome, but it was stil a favorite form of punishment during the Middle Ages.
The Wheel Torture (Breaking Wheel) – The Wheel torture was a very painful form of capital punishment. Death could be prolonged to a day or more.
Foot Roasting – Foot roasting was used in the Middle Ages to extract confessions. The Templar Knights, among many other orders, were tortured with this same method.
Burning at the Stake – Being burned at the stake was a terrible way to die. It could take several hours for death to occur and the causes of death were diverse.
Thumbscrew Torture – A painful torture mostly used to extract confessions before moving to more painful torture methods.
The Heretics Fork – A painful torture used to restrain a victim. It was used throughout the Middle Ages, but it reached its peak during the Spanish Inquisition.
Flaying Torture – A very old and painful method that consists of “skinning” a person alive.
Lead Sprinkler – The lead sprinkler was used to torture victims by pouring molten metals in different parts of their body.
Knee Splitter – Used for destroying body parts, the knee splitter was a terrifying torture device that could even bring death.
The Spanish Spider – A variant of the breast ripper, the Spanish Spider is an instrument capable of mutilating a woman’s breasts.
Pillory Torture – A mild form of punishment, the pillory was frequently used in the medieval world.

…just joking! There all abit harsh. Perhaps force them to listen to Britney Spears or Barbra Streisand on repeat… 24/7. Don’t let them shower, decay in their own filth. Solitary confinement… permanently. Prison rape? What? I didn’t see anything happen….

im in love…

…with netvibes.com

This AMAZING website is the ultimate homepage.

You can display;

- as many feeds as you like
- a summarized update of your facebook account with active links
- new e-mails from your hotmail or other e-mail host
- the weather in your area (up to 10 days!)
- Post it notes
- To do lists
- FREE 1G file storage!!!
- Google/Yahoo/Youtube etc. search fields
- Snippits of your favourite websites
- Calendar and scheduling
- SOO much more!

The possibilities are really endless with this site. You can customize every element; from arrangement to size to colour. There are THOUSANDS of applications and widgets. All of your content can be colour coordinated and separated into separate tabs for organization purposes! *breathe*

reliving childhood nightmares

oh god. not another one.

“Patricia the Stripper” by The Wombats

She works downtown in an unmarked bar,
Flyin’ round poles she always gave me the fright of my life
I didn’t mean to get involved it was the alcohol
Mixed with and empty feeling inside
Its such a bad idea to fall in love with a ‘lady of the night’

Why didn’t God give her two left feet
Then she couldn’t run away from me!

Months go by and I’m alone in bed
While she’s greasing up for when the businessmen and lawyers arrive
I’ve got to wear a beard a suit and tie
To get past the door if I want to see my girl tonight
I go to all this effort just to see my fair Patricia going home with some other guy

Why didn’t God give her two left feet
Then she couldn’t run away from me!
Why didn’t God give her two left feet
then she couldn’t run away from me!

She thinks I’m sad and that’s alright
But she doesn’t hate me so there’s my little alibi
I can’t, I can’t leave, I can’t I can’t I can’t
She’s my coked-up botox girl

Patricia, Patricia
Oh Patricia the Stripper you are my sunshine
Oh Patricia the stripper come on home tonight
Oh Patricia the Stripper you are my sunshine
So why can’t you come home with me tonight?

***Please note. My mother used to play the original song, by Chris DeBurgh, when I was young and tell me that if I was a bad little girl I would become a stripper when I grew up. Lets just say the closest I have come to fullfilling that prophecy was working at the brass rail… I mean Brasserie.****

words to the wise.

True success is achieved once an image in your likeness has been produced to larger than life proportions. Think about it.

skeleton number one.

I have been able to avoid telling this story to anyone for a very long time. However after reading an article on the subject earlier this morning I felt it was a sign from God to… come clean.

I have had the e-mail address I currently use for a very long time. Fortunate enough to have a computer most of my life, as soon as the Internet became popular there I was using the “coolest” thing since “peanut butter and bacon sandwiches” – hotmail.

I remember sitting around for days day-dreaming of what my e-mail should be. Should I copy my friends? Sweet_thang69? or cutieangelgirl08? or something even better – spicegirl4life?
I could not decide!
It was an extremely important decision; I would be giving it out to all of my friends (which I had conculded would be my whole entire year once I got msn), would use it when applying for a job one day, corresponding with family, would probably have to keep it for the rest of my life (because I figured everything available would be taken very soon) and would be showing up as my screen name in all the chat rooms I planned on visiting (dont worry… nothing “riskey“, the chat rooms were for starcraft or anime most likely).

I was afraid of being judged by the name. I didn’t want to come off as a slut at the age of 13, especially because I would eventually be using it for jobs and with family. I didn’t want to use my real name because I was well aware how “dangerous” using the Internet was. I didn’t want to choose something which implied a trend which could become “uncool” very quickly (I learned the hard way with pogs, devil sticks, crazy bones, my little pony… just to name a few), but most of all I wanted my friends to be able to remember it.

Then it hit me. I was sitting on the floor in Mrs. Clarke’s music class in grade 7 and I noticed a certain boy whom I fancied was staring RIGHT at my chest! To clarify, I had no attention paid to me within elementary school. I tried to compensate by becoming an over achiever; you know, school council rep, president of the student council, read the morning announcements, organized the Easter pageant, and so forth. To have this wonderfully scrumptious and idolized boy so obviously fixated on ME?! It made my month to say the least. Looking back I laugh. If someone was to stare at my chest (or lack there of) nowadays he would surely get a clocking to the jaw (or at least a lengthy talking to).

Anyways, getting back on track, while I was flattered at first by the gesture I soon became very insecure and convinced myself that there was no way he was checking me out. First of all, yes, I did develop kinda early in school (which I would like to add has stayed the same size since) and lead to the nickname “patissue“. But I was sure there must be another reason why he was looking at me; then it came to me. My shirt. It was BRIGHT orange with a green plastic emblem on the front; jnco.

I had found my answer and soon after registered my e-mail address. My plans for popularity and social networking did not soon follow to my disappointment, but the e-mail has stuck with me ever since. Some may say due to laziness; its a hard process getting everyone you know to change your contact information. Then there is the slight possibility that someone from my past will want to contact me out of the blue one day. But wait, e-mail is unregistered? What a shame! “She shall never know I always loved her.” Others may say that I haven’t changed it because its a reminder of lessons from the past. I’d say in lazy.

Here’s the kicker. Over the years I have received DOZENS upon dozens of inquiries,”what does your e-mail address stand for?” (for reference jnco_inc@hotmail.com) Every time I hear someone utter this statement my heart skips a beat. Should I tell them? No. Do they know and are taunting me? Lets hope not.

My deep dark secret is that the e-mail accidentally stands for a clothing company which started the “baggy pant” trend. The added “inc” on the end didn’t help either. God damn it.

For years I have been worried people would secretly think I was a closet rap enthusiast who has a collection of wu tang clang cds under my bed, many multi-coloured bandanas, who spends weekends hanging with my “posse” rollin a dube and engaging in overall delinquency.

I have survived. Left unscathed, my reputation never affected. That I know of…

Then I come across this article today. Saggy pants law? It seems to be a trend that U.S. communities are banning their children from wearing their pants to low. Thank god! Horrible trend. One of the worst. Almost as bad as spaghetti straps over a white t-shirt or anything “Northern Getaway.” After reading further into the article I realize that they haven’t banned baggy pants because it was a fashion fauz-pas, but instead it had connections to prison sex. Yes, prison sex.

Parents be warned, if your 10 year old son keeps his pants on the bottom of his ass exposing his boxers hes asking for sex. Scary thought but sure is good incentive to clean up your childs image. I am just disappointed I didn’t know this tidbit any sooner. It sure would have come in handy as a comeback to all those bullys on the playground who used to baggier me about wearing flood pants or “stuffing” my bra.

Alas, maybe its time to move on, change my e-mail. Its the end of the era.

Sad thing is though; I still own the shirt.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN1333370820080314?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews

we are all going to hell.

“You offend God not only by stealing, taking the Lord’s name in vain or coveting your neighbor’s wife, but also by wrecking the environment, carrying out morally debatable experiments that manipulate DNA or harm embryos,” said Bishop Gianfranco, who is responsible for the body that oversees confessions.

The NEW seven social sins are:

1. “Bioethical” violations such as birth control (I’m going to hell)

2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research (I support this = going to hell)

3. Drug abuse (um..think I’m clear on this one)

4. Polluting the environment (I think Ive done more good then harm *crosses fingers)

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor (safe)

6. Excessive wealth (safe..for now)

7. Creating poverty (safe)

The original deadly sins:

1. Pride
2. Envy
3. Gluttony
4. Lust
5. Anger
6. Greed
7. Sloth

(screw it. I’m going to hell for committing all of these sins at least once so far in life)

Is the vatican going to create a list of seven new virtues as well?

Chasity/Temperance/Charity/Diligence/Forgiveness/Humility/Kindess are the ones that exist currently.

If so I suggest Gravity and Humour to be included on the list.

The only good part of this announcement is that there is the possibility of a Se7en sequel with Brad Pitt! yay.

I can only imagine how they would portray it…

1. Sex which does not procure a child. Shameful.
2. Someone cures paralysis or parkinsons!
3. Is a stoner considered a drug abuser?
4. You did NOT just drop your mcds cup on the ground! Damn you to hell. Seriously.
5. Someone graduates from Harvard perhaps?
6. “I hope to God I DONT win the lottery!”
7. If your not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Shit.

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game…

oh wise one.

Dedication to a certain someone.

Aqualung – Something to believe in.

Turn off all the lights and absorb.

facebook is NOT the devil.

You know who you are.

Think you can just dissapear eh? Well im onto you.
Then yesterday….POP… you appear.
And I know it was all lies because all of your old information still exists!
Hybernating? I do think so.
Why is what I ask.

Urgh. You have made my creeping efforts so much more difficult lately. And for what? To just reappear like nothing happened.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND WOMAN.

*kiss.

MGMT – Electric Feel

She got the power in her hands to shock you like you won’t believeSaw her in the Amazon with the voltage running through her skin Standing there with nothing on, she’s gonna teach me how to swim

they have arrived.

Meteors falling in Parry Sound? Ridiculous. Even more ridiculous? Astronomers from the University of Western Ontario want residents to go scouring around their neighbourhoods looking for the “possibly kilogram” sized rocks.

Now, do these “scientists” realize where Parry Sound is? Way the hell out in the middle of nowhere. IF the residents DO find a real meteorite you know they are going to be holding that shit for ransom.

NOTE (Written on the back of a cigarette pack btw):
“Sci fi ppl. I have your rock in my frezzer. If u want it I want a case of Canadian and a Brian Adams cd sant to my hoose.”

And then you KNOW there are going to be the people who pick up any old rock and try to convince all of their friends that its from space.

“but i told ya Cletus…its a real darn moon rock. Ya know, like from space and shit. Ill trade it to ya for your pontoon boat!”

Worst of all is going to be that one “lucky” individual who does find the rock, gives it back to Professor Brown (read the article below) then sues him in 2 years when he unexpectedly gets cancer. *shakes head*

Does anyone else find this all a bit odd?

Its moments like this I believe Canadians deserve the horrible stereotypes bestowed upon us.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20080308.METEOR08/TPStory/TPNational/Ontario/

psa.

Dear Die-ary: There’s nothing terribley wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their ‘discomfort’ like a favorite shirt. I can’t say I’m very pleased with where my life is just now… but I can’t help but look forward to where it’s going.

prepare your mind, for a mind explosion!

Love passes us by, robed in meekness; but we flee from her in fear, o hide in the darkness; or else pursue her to do evil in her name.

let love tear us apart…

..Ive found the cure for a broken heart

Do you know what I have not found a cure for? Skype.

Who uses skype btw? I went online today and noticed that it listed over 6 million people being online right at that moment. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. Especially for a software which has numerous bugs and does not seem to compare to sightspeed. Actually, I really shouldn’t care so much considering that I own one of the worst webcams ever. You know, the type you get free in a cereal box. Separated in two pieces and which needs to be snapped together like a kinder surprise toy. The quality; the picture/sound – dreadful.

Screw you skype and your unreliability.

Side note. Watched part of Jumper earlier today and decided to give it a try. You never know, human potential is limitless. So I googled Port. Perhaps I can prevent purchasing a two thousand dollar plane ticket. Wish me luck.

“This is our decision, to live fast and die young. We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun. Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do. Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.”

take the chapstick, put it on your lips.

I love old men. There. I said it.

I woke up this morning in with an astonishing realization that I had been dreaming all night of… yes. Malcom McDowell. and no, not the young scumcious version from his previous roles such as in Clockwork Orange or Oh, Lucky Man. Heroes instead.

..now that I think about it, I have had dreams like this before with other elderly individuals.

Ben Kingsley. Mic Jager. Paul McCartney.

Whats wrong with me?! Alana. Root of all my problems. Started with that damn picture of the old man eating yogurt in our locker. And listening to her ritual sweet talking him every morning before class. *shakes fist*

“So we just skirt the hallway sides
A phantom and a fly
Follow the lines and wonder why
There’s no connection”

love of my life.

Oh how I love thee. You make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

If I could write poetry… I would. Instead I have decided to slander your name across infinite cyber space with tales of your ferocity and cleverness.

Sniffing..
Dancing in the rain…
Llamas, in general…
King of Spain…
Mustache wearing…
Hatching…

Return to me soon my love.

“Well you’re art, you fell into this part
You play the victim perfectly
holding your beating heart, you used to be so smart
You fluttered round the yard making your magic”

mustard coloured muffins?

Alas. it has begun.

Consider yourself warned.

“They bought him a temple with children to play with
Now he sells his skunk blood and talks like a plaintiff”